All posts by Renette

Favorite New Moon Quotes

Bella: I thought we agreed… No presents.

Charlie: Well… the one from me isn’t wrapped so it don’t count.

Bella: (looking at the camera) It’s actually great. Thanks Dad.

Charlie: Uh, it goes with this one, from your Mom. We coordinated… Well, she coordinated me.

-oOo-

Jessica: Today’s a big day Bella… (Bella looks at her, upset) R & J essay due.

Bella: Oh yeah.

Mike: Wherefore art thou, Bella?

-oOo-

Edward: Happy birthday.

Bella: Don’t remind me.

Edward: Well your birthday is definitely something to celebrate.

Bella: My aging is not.

Edward: (amused) Your aging… I think eighteen is a little too young to start worrying about that.

Bella: It’s one year older than you.

Edward: No it isn’t. I’m a hundred and nine.

Bella: Well… Maybe I shouldn’t be dating such an old man. It’s gross. I should be thoroughly repulsed.

-oOo-

Jacob: Bella.

Bella: Jacob!

Edward: I’ll leave you to talk.

Bella: Hello biceps. You know, anabolic steroids are really bad for you.

Jacob: Oh, I’m just filling out Bella. You know, it wouldn’t seem so drastic if we hang out more.

Bella: You should switch schools. Come hang out with the pale faces.

Jacob: I’m alright. I prefer the rez school’s exclusivity. They let any old riffraff into this place. (looks pointedly at Edward)

Complete Song List from New Moon

Before writing this post, I checked my similar post on the Twilight song list and realized that I listened to all the songs in the soundtrack before watching the movie. I don’t remember doing that, but it was exactly the same thing I did before watching New Moon. I even made soundtrack predictions on which scene each song will be used, but it seems I got everything wrong. Oh well.

Anyway, here is the complete song list from The Twilight Saga: New Moon.

1) Monsters (Hurricane Bells) – track 10 in the soundtrack

– This was played when Bella was driving on the way to school on her birthday, and while she’s taking the picture of her friends (Jessica, Mike, Eric and Angela).

2) The Violet Hour (Sea Wolf) – track 11 in the soundtrack

– This was played during Bella’s birthday party at the Cullens’ house until she had her paper cut.

3) Satellite Heart (Anya Maria) – track 6 in the soundtrack

– This was played while Bella and a visibly upset Edward were on the way home.

4) Roslyn (Bon Iver and St. Vincent) – track 8 in the soundtrack

– This was played while Bella was printing out her picture with Edward and sitting on a table with her friends on a sunny day, and Edward was at her room until they went for a walk in the forest.

5) Possibility (Lykke Li) – track 4 in the soundtrack

– This was played while Bella was sitting at her room, depressed, as the months passed by. It continued while Bella was writing bouncing emails to Alice, having nightmares and sitting at the Cullens cafeteria table by herself.

6) I Belong to You (Muse) – track 7 in the soundtrack

– This was played when Bella told Charlie that she was going out for a girl’s night out with Jessica.

7) Friends (Band of Skulls) – track 2 in the soundtrack

– This was played during Bella’s first Edward hallucination, when she approached the guys with a disapproving and incredulous Jessica looking at her.

8) All I Believe In (The Magic Numbers & Amadou & Mariam) – bonus track in the soundtrack

– This was played when Jacob started fixing the motorbikes and during the montage when Jacob and Bella were at his garage

9) Shooting the Moon (Ok Go) – track 12 in the soundtrack

– This was played when Jacob started wrestling with Quil and throughout the montage of Jacob fixing the bike with Bella.

10) The Meadow (Alexandre Desplat) – track 15 in the soundtrack

– This was played when Bella was at the meadow and she saw Laurent.

11) Done All Wrong (Black Rebel Motorcycle Club) – track 9 in the soundtrack

– This was played when Bella was about to enter Emily’s house while Paul and Jacob were having their wolf scuffle. I guess the song about doing wrong is appropriate since Bella, the vampire girl, is now visiting the werewolves place.

12) Hearing Damage (Thom Yorke) – track 3 in the soundtrack

– This was played when Charlie and the rest of the townspeople were combing the forest hunting for the wolves, and Victoria attacked Harry Clearwater behind Charlie’s back. The song is still playing during the impressive scene of the werewolves chasing the ever-graceful (and ever-sneaky) Victoria until she jumps to the water.

13) Slow Life (Grizzly Bear) – track 13 in the soundtrack

– This was played when Bella was under water, unconscious. She was looking at her Edward hallucination until Jacob towed her from the water. The lyrics are very appropriate for Bella: “Even though you’re the only one I see / If you ask, I’ll cut you free…”

14) No Sound but the Wind (Editors) – track 14 in the soundtrack

– This was played when Edward and Bella were on the way home from the Cullens’ place after Bella asked for their vote on whether she should become a vampire. I thought it would be used when the Cullens were packing up to leave Forks because of the line, “We can never go home / We no longer have one…” but I suppose it also applies to Bella.

15) A White Demon Love Song (The Killers) – track 5 in the soundtrack

– This was played during the closing credits.

16) Meet Me at the Equinox (Death Cab for Cutie) – track 1 in the soundtrack

– I didn’t actually hear it, but I’m assuming they played this during the closing credits as well. Someone correct me if I’m wrong.

My First Impression on New Moon (the Movie)

First of all, let me start with a disclaimer – I’ve only watched New Moon once when it opened last Friday, so this post is only about my first impression on the movie. I’ll probably write a review after I’ve seen it a couple of times. I haven’t read any other reviews as well so that I won’t be prejudiced or influenced by them.

I was a bit wary because a friend who watched the premiere showing of New Moon the night before told me that teenage fangirls kept screaming whenever Edward was on screen, making it hard to concentrate on the movie and hard to listen to the dialogue. Thankfully, I didn’t have this experience. The crowd was pretty quiet except for the spontaneous intake of breath when Jacob first removed his shirt. I guess he really was sort of beautiful in that scene.

Anyway, here are some of my comments about the movie:

1. The effects were so much better. Seriously. It only makes the special effects of Twilight so much more laughable. I loved how the wolves transform, and how the vampires (especially Victoria) move. No more swooshing sound either whenever the vampires are running, though there is still that tinkling sound when Edward exposed his body to the sunlight.

2. The make up was so much better too. The vampires (especially Esme) were paler and less natural looking. However, I thought Edward’s lipstick was a bit too… red.

3. There were a lot of direct quotes from the books. I didn’t even realize this while watching the movie since I haven’t read New Moon in years. The next day, I got out my copy of New Moon and re-read it the whole day, and was pleasantly surprised at the number of quotes lifted word for word from the book.

4. Taylor Lautner was… great. He was able to do something that the book wasn’t able to do – make me sympathetic to Team Jacob. As I mentioned, the audience all gasped when he first took off his shirt – myself included. It was a spontaneous reaction. It’s obvious he really worked out, and I thought he looks better with cropped hair.

5. The soundtrack, which I thought was too depressing when I first listened to it, fit quite well in the movie. I made another post regarding my predictions on where the songs would appear, but it seems I got everything wrong. All I remember is “Satellite Heart” was played in Bella’s truck when Bella and Edward was talking after the disastrous birthday party, “Possibility” was played while the months passed and Bella was just sitting depressed at her room, and “A White Demon Love Song” was played during the closing credits.

6. Alice’s outfits were always very cute. She was always very cute too, though her hair is a bit longer.

7. I love the scene where Bella was just sitting in her room and the camera was rotating around her, while the passing months (October, November, and so on) were super-imposed on the screen. The changing seasons were shown as well in the window outside her room. I thought it was a very creative way to translate that part from the book, which had blank pages with only the words October, November and so on…

8. I love the scene where Bella is seen sitting alone in the Cullens’ table at the cafeteria, and her friends were looking at her. That wasn’t in the book, but it was a great way to show how she was dealing with the pain and how isolated she was from her friends.

9. I loved the ending! I won’t give any spoilers, but there was also a rather loud reaction from the audience when “Directed by Chris Weitz” appeared on the screen.

10. I love how the movie followed the book faithfully. This is something I wish other moviemakers would do – respect the book, respect the story and respect the fans. I don’t think there were any major plot differences, like in Twilight.

Predictions on the New Moon Soundtrack

I’ve recently been listening to the soundtrack of New Moon on YouTube since I’m pretty excited to see the movie in a few days. I’ve probably heard all the songs about 5-10 times only, and I thought it would be fun to make some predictions on which part in the movie they will be used. One disadvantage is that I haven’t read New Moon in more than a year, so I can’t remember all the parts. Anyway, here are some of my predictions:

1) Meet Me at the Equinox by Death Cab for Cutie

– During an Edward hallucination.

– Before Edward exposes his sparkly self.

– During the closing credits. I’m only guessing this because Decode was the first single to be released from the Twilight soundtrack, and it was featured during the closing credits.

2) Friends by Band of Skulls

– When Bella is with the Cullens before her disastrous birthday party

– When the werewolves are together

– When Bella is talking to the boys in town while she is with Jessica

3) Hearing Damage by Thom Yorke

– When Bella meets Laurent in the meadow

– When Jacob puts the phone down on who he thought was Carlisle

– When Bella and Alice are on the way to the Volturi

4) Possibility by Lykke Li

– During the parade of St Marcus (maybe on a slow motion shot of Bella running through the crowd)

– When Bella first realizes that Jacob is a werewolf

– When Edward, Bella and Alice are walking together on the way to the Volturi

5) A White Demon Love Song by The Killers

– When Bella is spending time with Jacob

– When Bella is pretending to be happy for Charlie’s sake

– When Alice visits Bella after the Cullens leave

6) Satellite Heart by Anya Maria

– After Edward leaves Bella at the forest and she’s curled up on the ground in tears

– While Bella is in school or in bed, depressed and missing Edward

– While Bella is standing on the cliff before she jumps

7) I Belong to You by Muse

– While Bella and Jacob are happily chatting or doing something fun together

– While Bella, Jacob and Mike are in the theater

– When Bella, Edward and Alice are on the way home from the Volturi

8) Roslyn by Bon Iver and St. Vincent

– When Bella jumps off the cliff (in slow motion maybe)

– When Bella opens her eyes and sees that it was Jacob who saves her from fall

– When Edward begins to open his shirt to expose his sparkly self

9) Done All Wrong by Black Rebel Motorcycle Club

– When Bella sees hallucinations of Edward

– Whenever Bella or Jacob are on their bikes (maybe because the artist’s name has “Motorcycle” in it)

– While Bella is in school or in bed, depressed and missing Edward

10) Monsters by Hurricane Bells

– When Edward and Bella are on the way to the birthday party at the Cullens

– When Bella and Jacob are on their bikes

– When Bella and Alice are on the way to the Volturi

11) The Violet Hour by Sea Wolf

– When Bella and Jacob are on their bikes

– When Bella and Edward are finally together again in her bedroom

– During closing credits

12) Shooting the Moon by Ok Go

– When Bella is with the werewolves (well, mainly because there’s moon in the title)

– When Jacob leaves Bella while they are having an argument

– When Jacob is in Bella’s room trying to tell her what’s wrong with him without breaking the rule

13) Slow Life by Grizzly Bear

– During a slow motion of Bella jumping off the cliff

– During a slow motion shot of Bella running to stop Edward from showing off his sparkles

– During closing credits

14) No Sound but the Wind by Editors

– When the Cullens are packing up to leave Forks (“We can never go home / We no longer have one…”)

– When Jacob saves Bella after she jumps from a cliff

– When Edward and Bella are walking together towards the Volturi

15) The Meadow by Alexandre Desplat

– When Bella goes back to the meadow alone

– While Bella is in school or in bed, depressed and missing Edward

– When Bella sees an Edward hallucination

Since I made three guesses per song (or a total of 45 guesses), I’m hoping I get at least one correct. We’ll see on November 20.

Update: Click here for the complete song list from New Moon.

A Christian Book Review on Twilight

NOTE: This is a book review I did for Squeaky Clean Reviews, a website that analyzes books from a Christian perspective. (You can read my review here.)

Although I did enjoy Twilight, I would have to say that Christians should read this with caution. I would also advise teens to read this with parental or adult supervision, especially the next three books.

PLOT

Following the Romeo and Juliet motif, this is the story of impossible love. Bella Swan leaves sunny Phoenix, Arizona to live with her dad in rainy Forks, Washington. There she meets and gets intrigued by her mysterious Biology lab partner, Edward Cullen. The attraction between them grows, but their relationship is complicated by the fact that Edward is a vampire.

MORALITY

Here are some of the issues raised about the book.

1. There will always be the question of whether romanticizing traditionally evil creatures such as vampires is wrong. Similar to the debate about having good witches in Harry Potter, this series started the debate on the acceptability of good vampires as protagonists.

2. Some of the characters have supernatural gifts. One of them sees visions of the future, which could be considered occultic.

3. Bella is willing to give up her soul to be with Edward for all eternity without hesitation, even though Edward believes that vampires go to hell in the end.

4. Bella lies to her parents repeatedly. She also allows Edward to stay at her bedroom every night without her father’s knowledge.

However, there are also themes in the story that could be good talking points for teens and their parents.

1. Edward (and his family) resists the temptation to kill people despite their thirst for human blood. They go against their very nature in order to do what they believe is right.

2. Even though he loves Bella, Edward doesn’t want her to become a vampire too because he doesn’t want to endanger her soul.

SPIRITUAL CONTENT

There are deeper spiritual discussions in the succeeding books, but in the first book, Edward mentions the age-old question of evolution and creation and even makes reference to the Creator in this quote:

“Well, where did you come from? Evolution? Creation? Couldn’t we have evolved in the same way as other species, predator and prey? Or, if you don’t believe that all this world could have just happened on its own, which is hard for me to accept myself, is it so hard to believe that the same force that created the delicate angelfish with the shark, the baby seal and the killer whale, could create both our kinds together?”

VIOLENCE

There is some violence towards the end, although it is not described too graphically.

DRUG AND ALCOHOL CONTENT

In describing his attraction to the scent of Bella’s blood, Edward makes references to alcoholics and drug addicts. One of the most popular lines from the book and the movie is “You are exactly my brand of heroin.”

SEXUAL CONTENT

The main characters make out, and Bella sleeps in Edward’s arms nearly every night (although nothing happens, since Edward is adamant about keeping both their virginity).

CRUDE OR PROFANE LANGUAGE OR CONTENT

Some of the characters sometimes display disrespect towards their parents. Obsessive, unhealthy love seems to be encouraged.

CONCLUSION

This is an interesting read for people who are willing to overlook the negative points in the story. It’s fast-paced and quite entertaining. However, because of some of the questionable elements of the story, parents are advised to warn young teens or new believers from reading this book as it may negatively affect their relationship with God.

Beat It

Beat It is one of those songs where two things I like collide – in this case, Broadway and Michael Jackson.

Once upon a time, there were two rival gangs – the Jets and the Sharks. Tony, the best friend of the leader of the Jets, fell in love with Maria, the sister of the leader of the Sharks. They try to make their relationship work despite the gang rivalry. However, during a violent rumble, Maria’s brother kills Tony’s best friend. Enraged, Tony kills Maria’s brother and runs off. To avenge their leader, a member of the Sharks shoots down Tony, who was about to run off with Maria.

77091-004-7485222b

That’s the plot of West Side Story, a Broadway musical which was later made into a Hollywood film. It presents the cruel consequences of violence, especially among teenagers. It was also the inspiration for the award-winning music video of Michael Jackson’s 1983 hit song “Beat It.”

Beat_It

Composed by Michael Jackson, the song advises the listeners to “beat it” in order to avoid violent confrontations: “You better run, you better do what you can / Don’t wanna see no blood, don’t be a macho man / You wanna be tough, better do what you can / So beat it.”

It was not a secret that Michael Jackson suffered physical abuse in the hands of his father while growing up. Being a victim of abuse caused him to develop very strong convictions against violence, which is reflected in his music.

Directed by Bob Giraldi, the music video of “Beat It” catapulted Michael Jackson into superstardom and won many awards, including Favorite Pop/Rock Video and Favorite Soul Video in the American Music Awards. It was later inducted in the Music Video Producer’s Hall of Fame.

mj-beat-it

Similar to West Side Story, the music video of “Beat It” shows two rival gangs of different ethnicity. When the leaders of both gangs are about to start their one-on-one knife fight, Michael Jackson appears between them, singing “Beat it… / It doesn’t matter who’s wrong or right / Just beat it.” He is able to stop the fight from happening, and members of both gangs join him in a group dance choreographed by Michael Peters (who is one of the leaders of the gang).

Michael Peters

Because all street fights should end with everyone dancing together.

Gone Too Soon

GoneTooSoon-ukcd

Michael Jackson’s death in June 25, 2009 affected me more than I thought it would. I mean, I know a lot of his songs, I’ve seen his music videos, I was familiar with his story – but I wouldn’t really go and consider myself a fan. But like they say, you don’t really appreciate what you had until it’s gone.

Anyway, a lot of people have seen Usher’s emotional rendition of the Michael Jackson classic, “Gone Too Soon,” during the memorial service for the King of Pop last 7 July 2009. The song was sadly appropriate for the legendary artist’s sudden passing: “Born to amuse, to inspire, to delight / Here one day / Gone one night.” I’ve known this song before but thought I’d do some research.

Released in 6 December 1993, “Gone Too Soon” was the 9th single from the album Dangerous. It was composed by Larry Grossman and Buz Kohan, and was produced by Michael Jackson himself.

The music video of “Gone Too Soon” shows video clips of a young American teenager named Ryan White, to whom the song was dedicated. At the age of 13, Ryan White became infected with HIV due to a contaminated blood treatment used to cure his haemophilia. When the fact that he was HIV positive became publicly known, he was expelled from school. This started a prolonged legal battle to allow him to go back to school, which turned Ryan White into a national celebrity and a poster child for AIDS.

ryan_white_home_photo

White frequently appeared in public to promote AIDS awareness with celebrities like Michael Jackson, who became his close friend. The pop star even gave him a red Mustang convertible as a gift. A few months before White’s high school graduation, he finally succumbed to AIDS after battling a lung infection. Michael Jackson attended his funeral, along with other celebrities who have become close to him throughout the years.

A few months after White’s death, Michael Jackson recorded the song “Gone Too Soon” as a tribute to his young friend. He also performed the song for President Bill Clinton’s inaugural ball on 20 January 1993, where he took the opportunity to talk about the importance of AIDS research.

Photo by Terence Daniel Donovan
Photo by Terence Daniel Donovan

Another untimely death led to the re-emergence of the song in 1997 – that of Princess Diana, who died in a car accident on 31 August 1997. “Gone Too Soon” was included in the compilation album in her honor, which was called Diana Princess of Wales Tribute.

Although the song never reached #1 in the charts, “Gone Too Soon” will always remind the world of a brilliant artist who was gone too soon.

Note: Photo on the left is from www.michaeljacksontributeportrait.com

Narnia: Explaining the Book Titles

The Chronicles of Narnia is a collection of 7 novels written by C S Lewis, which tells the story of various events that happened in the fictional land of Narnia and beyond. For those who have no idea what the books are about or don’t exactly get the reason behind the titles, here’s a brief explanation and a few relevant quotes. Please note that there are a few spoilers here.


Book 1: The Magician’s Nephew (MN)

666ddda1584a358b467657687d2aa66bThe magician’s nephew refers to Digory, the main character in this book, who will become Professor Kirke in the next book.
Digory is the nephew of Uncle Andrew Ketterley, a minor magician, who was able to make rings that have the power to bring one to the magical world of Atlantis, which was actually the “wood between the worlds.” From this wood, the children – that is, Digory and his neighbor, Polly Plummer – were able to enter the world of Narnia.

[talking to Uncle Andrew] “But there’s one thing I jolly well mean to say first. I didn’t believe in magic till today. I see now it’s real. Well if it is, I suppose all the old fairy tales are more or less true. And you’re simply a wicked, cruel MAGICIAN like the ones in the stories. Well, I’ve never read a story in which people of that sort weren’t paid out in the end, and I bet you will be. And serve you right.” – Digory, from chapter 2 of MN

Book 2: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe (LWW)

wardrobe-baynesThe Lion in the title is of course, Aslan, who is the parallel of Jesus in that world. The witch is Jadis (whom we first meet in MN) who used to rule in the dead world of Charn. At the time of this story, Jadis has been known in all Narnia as the white witch, and represents all that is evil in the world. The wardrobe was the way in which the four Pevensies – Peter, Susan, Edmund and Lucy – were able to enter the world of Narnia.

And now a very curious thing happened… At the name of ASLAN each one of the children felt something jump in its inside. Edmund felt a sensation of mysterious horror. Peter felt suddenly brave and adventurous. Susan felt as if some delicious smell or some delightful strain of music had just floated by her. And Lucy got the feeling you have when you wake up in the morning and realize that it is the beginning of the holidays or the beginning of summer. – from chapter 7 of LWW

“The WHITE WITCH?” said Edmund. “Who’s she?”

“She is a perfectly terrible person,” said Lucy. “She calls herself the queen of Narnia though she has no right to be queen at all… And she can turn people into stone and do all kinds of horrible things. And she has made a magic so that it is always winter in Narnia – always winter, but it never gets to Christmas.” – from chapter 4 of LWW  

For when Digory was quite middle-aged…, there was a great storm all over the south of England which blew the tree down. He couldn’t bear to have it simply chopped up for firewood, so he had part of the timber made into a WARDROBE, which he put in his big house in the country. And though he himself did not discover the magic properties of that wardrobe, someone else did. That was the beginning of all the comings and goings between Narnia and our world, which you can read of in other books. – from chapter 15 of MN

Book 3: The Horse and His Boy (HHB)

71013-_24The horse in the title should get an award for the longest, most interesting name in all Narnia – Breeny-heeny-breeny-hoohy-ha, or Bree for short. He is a Talking Horse who was captured in his youth and was forced to live and work in the distant land of Calormen. Desiring to return to Narnia, he escaped with a boy named Shasta. The reason why the title is “The Horse and His Boy” instead of “The Boy and His Horse” is that Bree pointed out early on to the proud Aravis, the girl who joined them in their escape, that Talking Horses are free Narnians, and so do not belong to anybody.

“Why do you keep talking to my horse instead of to me?” asked the girl.
“Excuse me, tarkheena,” said Bree (with just the slightest backward tilt of his ears), “but that’s Calormene talk. We’re free Narnians, Hwin and I, and I suppose, if you’re running away to Narnia, you want to be one too. In that case Hwin isn’t your horse any longer. One might just as well say you’re her human.” – from chapter 2 of HHB

Book 4: Prince Caspian (PC)

1010860-_7This is the most obvious of all the titles, and needs the least explanation. The book tells of the adventures of Prince Caspian the Tenth, and how he became the rightful king of Narnia against his dangerous Uncle Miraz.

“This is CASPIAN, sir,” he said. And Caspian knelt and kissed the Lion’s paw.
“Welcome, PRINCE,” said Aslan. “Do you feel yourself sufficient to take up the kingship of Narnia?”
“I – I don’t think I do, sir,” said Caspian. “I’m only a kid.”
“Good,” said Aslan. “If you had felt yourself sufficient, it would have been a proof that you were not. Therefore, under us and under the High King, you shall be king of Narnia, Lord of Cair Paravel, and Emperor of the Lone Islands. You and your heirs while your race lasts.” – from chapter 15 of PC

Book 5: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader (VDT)

The title pertains to the adventures of the Dawn Treader, which was the name of the ship that King Caspian built in order to find the seven lords (his father’s friends) who sailed off to the east during the time of Miraz. This is a proper adventure story, with exciting things happening in each island.

       “Well,” said Caspian, “that’s rather a long story. Perhaps you remember that when I was a child my usurping Uncle Miraz got rid of seven friends of my father’s (who might have taken my part) by sending them off to explore the unknown eastern seas beyond the Lone Islands.”
       “Yes,” said Lucy, “and none of them ever came back.”
       “Right. Well, on, my coronation day, with Aslan’s approval, I swore an oath that, if once I established peace in Narnia, I would sail east myself for a year and a day to find my father’s friends or to learn of their deaths and avenge them if I could.” – from chapter 2 of VDT

Book 6: The Silver Chair (SC)

Puddleglum-the-MarshwiggleThe silver chair in the title pertains to the magical chair which was used by the Lady of the Green Kirtle, also called the Queen of the Underland or the Emerald Witch. She had the enchanted Prince Rilian, who was the son of King Caspian the Tenth, tied down on this chair during the hour when the enchantment was lifted and he returned to his right mind. This book introduces my all-time favorite literary character – a marshwiggle named Puddleglum.

       “The knight was seated in a curious SILVER CHAIR, to which he was bound by his ankles, his knees, his elbows, his wrists, and his waist. There was sweat on his forehead and his face was filled with anguish.” – from chapter 11 of SC

Book 7: The Last Battle (LB)

71299-_40The title pertains to the final battle in the history of Narnia, which was between the Calormene army and the Narnians who fought on the side of King Tirian. It is the darkest story in the series, but has the most beautiful ending.

There stood his heart’s desire, huge and real, the golden Lion, Aslan himself, and already the others were kneeling in a circle round his forepaws and burying their hands and faces in his mane as he stooped his great head to touch them with his tongue. Then he fixed his eyes upon Tirian, and Tirian came near, trembling, and flung himself at the Lion’s feet, and the Lion kissed him and said, “Well done, last of the kings of Narnia who stood firm at the darkest hour.” – fom chapter 13 of LB

Drying Tears and Bearing Burdens – My Tribute to “Little Women”

I wrote this essay to join the contest of Powerbooks called “Inspired! A Tribute to the Book that Started It All.” Entries are supposed to be about the book that started one’s love affair with reading. I had a tough time deciding which book to write about, so I was only able to write this on the day before the deadline. Thankfully, I won 3rd place.

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“I may be strong-minded, but no one can say I’m out of my sphere now, for woman’s special mission is supposed to be drying tears and bearing burdens.”

– Little Women, Louisa May Alcott

It’s hard to remember the exact moment when I realized that I loved reading. All I know is that as a kid, I would read everything in the house – labels on shampoo bottles, my Dad’s theology books, old issues of Reader’s Digest. I discovered the wonders of the school library when I was in kindergarten, and would spend countless hours stretched out on the carpet with a Sesame Street book. By the time I was in Grade 3, I have progressed to illustrated versions of Nick Joaquin’s classics like The Woman Who Had Two Navels. The world of Nancy Drew and Hardy Boys opened up to me when I was in Grade 5, and I would take home five books at a time, intent on finishing the entire series in the shortest time possible.

Due to my limited allowance, I would very rarely buy books of my own. I was happy enough to borrow books from classmates and the library, mainly because I don’t often re-read books anyway. One reading is usually enough, so there’s no point in buying my own copy.

I don’t even remember what induced me buy a discounted paperback copy of Little Women by Louisa May Alcott. Perhaps it was included in my English class reading list and I got curious. Perhaps I read a mention of it in some essay or magazine article and I thought it would be worth buying. All I remember is that I was in first year high school, I was in a bookstore on my own, and I decided to use my week’s savings to buy the book. That hasty decision started my book collection.

There’s a certain rustic charm about this book which instantly attracted me. From the start, I felt drawn to the character of Jo March – the tomboyish, headstrong protagonist. I got interested in her three sisters as well – Meg (who reminded me of my own sister), Beth and Amy. I loved Marmee with all my heart, and had a crush on Jo’s best friend and next-door neighbor, Teddy Laurence.

I read the entire book in one sitting, and re-read it again the next day (and the day after that and so on). If I wasn’t re-reading Little Women, I would be reading Louisa May Alcott’s other books in our school library, such as Little Men, Jo’s Boys, Rose in Bloom, Under the Lilacs and Eight Cousins.

Little Women was not the first book I read, but it was the book that made me realize that reading was going to be my lifelong hobby. It opened my eyes to the fact that I’ll never be happier than when I’m curled up in bed with a good book. It made me understand that there are some books you just have to own, for the pleasure of re-reading it anytime you want.

When I think about it now, I can name two particular reasons why Little Women will always be one of my favorites.

For one, it is a coming-of-age story, and I was lucky enough to read it during the time that I was coming of age myself. I could feel Jo’s rebellion at the thought that she was expected to leave her boyish ways behind to become a “proper” lady. I could feel her discomfort and awkwardness throughout her teenage years. The book gave me hope that indeed, this embarrassing stage in life will pass, and that maybe I could even become a gracious little woman afterwards.

The other reason is that I could relate all too well with the character of Jo, especially with regards to her temper. When her sister almost died because of something she did in anger, a repentant Jo sobbed to her mother about not knowing how to control her fits of rage. Marmee comforted Jo – and me – when she explained that she had the same problem, and was angry nearly every day. The difference is that Marmee was always very careful not to show any signs of irritation. As she explained, “A startled or surprised look from one of you when I spoke sharply rebuked me more than any words could have done, and the love, respect, and confidence of my children was the sweetest reward I could receive for my efforts to be the woman I would have them copy.” She also explained that we must ask our Father in heaven to teach us to deal with our anger and to change our hearts. Reading Marmee’s words somehow made me feel as if a burden was lifted up from me, and I resolved to follow her advice.

Aside from being able to relate to Jo’s temper, I could also relate to her grief when Beth – her favorite sister, her personal “conscience” – died. You see, my own brother died two years before I read Little Women. Something stirred in me when I read one of Beth’s final conversations with Jo – “I never wanted to go away, and the hard part now is the leaving you all. I’m not afraid, but it seems as if I should be homesick for you even in heaven.” It made me cry the first time I read it, and I used to avoid re-reading that particular part. Later on, I realized that I had to face my grief some time and let the story of Beth’s death wash away some of my sorrow for my own Kuya’s death.

That’s why Little Women will always have a special place in my bookshelf and in my heart. That’s why this book will forever hold a certain magic for me. It’s because through its heartwarming storyline, its relatable characters and its subtle moral lessons, Little Women is capable of drying my tears, and bearing my burdens.

Favorite Twilight Book Quotes Part 2

Twilight is currently my favorite guilty pleasure. I did 2 blog entries already of my favorite movie quotes, so I thought I’d go ahead and write 2 more entries on my favorite book quotes. Here are my favorites from chapters 13 to 23. You can check out part 1 here.

—-

Here’s part of the pivotal conversation between Edward and Bella at the meadow. I’m glad nearly the entire scene was showed in the movie.

But I couldn’t answer. As I had just that once before, I smelled his cool breath in my face. Sweet, delicious, the scent made my mouth water. It was unlike anything else. Instinctively, unthinkingly, I leaned closer, inhaling.

And he was gone, his hand ripped from mine. In the time it took my eyes to focus, he was twenty feet away, standing at the edge of the small meadow, in the deep shade of a huge fir tree. He stared at me, his eyes dark in the shadows, his expression unreadable.

I could feel the hurt and shock on my face. My empty hands stung.

“I’m… sorry… Edward,” I whispered. I knew he could hear.

“Give me a moment,” he called, just loud enough for my less sensitive ears. I sat very still.

After ten incredibly long seconds, he walked back, slowly for him. He stopped, still several feet away, and sank gracefully to the ground, crossing his legs. His eyes never left mine. He took two deep breaths, and then smiled in apology.

“I am so very sorry.” He hesitated. “Would you understand what I meant if I said I was only human?”

I nodded once, not quite able to smile at his joke. Adrenaline pulsed through my veins as the realization of danger slowly sank in. He could smell that from where he sat. His smile turned mocking.

“I’m the world’s best predator, aren’t I? Everything about me invites you in – my voice, my face, even my smell. As if I need any of that!” Unexpectedly, he was on his feet, bounding away, instantly out of sight, only to appear beneath the same tree as before, having circled the meadow in half a second.

“As if you could outrun me,” he laughed bitterly.

He reached up with one hand and, with a deafening crack, effortlessly ripped a two-foot-thick branch from the trunk of the spruce. He balanced it in that hand for a moment, and then threw it with blinding speed, shattering it against another huge tree, which shook and trembled at the blow.

And he was in front of me again, standing two feet away, still as a stone.

“As if you could fight me off,” he said gently.

I sat without moving, more frightened of him than I had ever been. I’d never seen him so completely freed of that carefully cultivated facade. He’d never been less human… or more beautiful. Face ashen, eyes wide, I sat like a bird locked in the eyes of a snake.

—-

Here’s another part of their meadow conversation, containing the heroin quote.

“You see, every person smells different, has a different essence. If you locked an alcoholic in a room full of stale beer, he’d gladly drink it. But he could resist, if he wished to, if he were a recovering alcoholic. Now let’s say you placed in that room a glass of hundred-year-old brandy, the rarest, finest cognac – and filled the room with its warm aroma – how do you think he would fare then?”

We sat silently, looking into each other’s eyes – trying to read each other’s thoughts.

He broke the silence first.

“Maybe that’s not the right comparison. Maybe it would be too easy to turn down the brandy. Perhaps I should have made our alcoholic a heroin addict instead.”

“So what you’re saying is, I’m your brand of heroin?” I teased, trying to lighten the mood.

He smiled swiftly, seeming to appreciate my effort. “Yes, you are exactly my brand of heroin.”

—-

Here’s another part of their meadow conversation, where Bella first found out how Edward travelled in the forest.

“I’ll show you how I travel in the forest.” He saw my expression. “Don’t worry, you’ll be very safe, and we’ll get to your truck much faster.” His mouth twitched up into that crooked smile so beautiful my heart nearly stopped.

“Will you turn into a bat?” I asked warily.

—-

Here’s a funny conversation when Edward admitted having visited Bella while she was sleeping. In hindsight – it’s actually quite creepy.

“How often?” I asked casually.

“Hmmm?” He sounded as if I had pulled him from some other train of thought.

I still didn’t turn around. “How often did you come here?”

“I come here almost every night.”

I whirled, stunned. “Why?”

“You’re interesting when you sleep.” He spoke matter-of-factly. “You talk.”

“No!” I gasped, heat flooding my face all the way to my hairline. I gripped the kitchen counter for support. I knew I talked in my sleep, of course; my mother teased me about it. I hadn’t thought it was something I needed to worry about here, though.

His expression shifted instantly to chagrin. “Are you very angry with me?”

“That depends!” I felt and sounded like I’d had the breath knocked out of me.

He waited.

“On?” he urged.

“What you heard!” I wailed.

Instantly, silently, he was at my side, taking my hands carefully in his.

“Don’t be upset!” he pleaded. He dropped his face to the level of my eyes, holding my gaze. I was embarrassed. I tried to look away. “You miss your mother,” he whispered. “You worry about her. And when it rains, the sound makes you restless. You used to talk about home a lot, but it’s less often now. Once you said, ‘It’s too green.'” He laughed softly, hoping, I could see, not to offend me further.

“Anything else?” I demanded.

He knew what I was getting at. “You did say my name,” he admitted.

I sighed in defeat. “A lot?”

“How much do you mean by ‘a lot,’ exactly?”

“Oh no!” I hung my head.

He pulled me against his chest, softly, naturally.

“Don’t be self-conscious,” he whispered in my ear. “If I could dream at all, it would be about you. And I’m not ashamed of it.”

—-

Here’s an interesting conversation during Edward’s first night at Bella’s room (with Bella knowing that he was there).

“You seem more… optimistic than usual,” I observed. “I haven’t seen you like this before.”

“Isn’t it supposed to be like this?” He smiled. “The glory of first love, and all that. It’s incredible, isn’t it, the difference between reading about something, seeing it in the pictures, and experiencing it?”

“Very different,” I agreed. “More forceful than I’d imagined.”

“For example” – his words flowed swiftly now, I had to concentrate to catch it all – “the emotion of jealousy. I’ve read about it a hundred thousand times, seen actors portray it in a thousand different plays and movies. I believed I understood that one pretty clearly. But it shocked me…” He grimaced. “Do you remember the day that Mike asked you to the dance?”

I nodded, though I remembered that day for a different reason. “The day you started talking to me again.”

“I was surprised by the flare of resentment, almost fury, that I felt – I didn’t recognize what it was at first. I was even more aggravated than usual that I couldn’t know what you were thinking, why you refused him. Was it simply for your friend’s sake? Was there someone else? I knew I had no right to care either way. I tried not to care.

“And then the line started forming,” he chuckled. I scowled in the darkness.

“I waited, unreasonably anxious to hear what you would say to them, to watch your expressions. I couldn’t deny the relief I felt, watching the annoyance on your face. But I couldn’t be sure.

“That was the first night I came here. I wrestled all night, while watching you sleep, with the chasm between what I knew was right, moral, ethical, and what I wanted. I knew that if I continued to ignore you as I should, or if I left for a few years, till you were gone, that someday you would say yes to Mike, or someone like him. It made me angry.

“And then,” he whispered, “as you were sleeping, you said my name. You spoke so clearly, at first I thought you’d woken. But you rolled over restlessly and mumbled my name once more, and sighed. The feeling that coursed through me then was unnerving, staggering. And I knew I couldn’t ignore you any longer.” He was silent for a moment, probably listening to the suddenly uneven pounding of my heart.

“But jealousy… it’s a strange thing. So much more powerful than I would have thought. And irrational! Just now, when Charlie asked you about that vile Mike Newton…” He shook his head angrily.

“I should have known you’d be listening,” I groaned.

“Of course.”

“That made you feel jealous, though, really?”

“I’m new at this; you’re resurrecting the human in me, and everything feels stronger because it’s fresh.”

—-

Edward’s quote below is fraught with religious implications. However, I don’t really want to go into that, but this really reminded me of a line from William Blake’s poem “The Tiger” – “Did He who made the Lamb make thee?”

“Well, where did you come from? Evolution? Creation? Couldn’t we have evolved in the same way as other species, predator and prey? Or, if you don’t believe that all this world could have just happened on its own, which is hard for me to accept myself, is it so hard to believe that the same force that created the delicate angelfish with the shark, the baby seal and the killer whale, could create both our kinds together?”

—-

I really like this part, because Edward tried to explain his reasons for resisting temptation.

I sifted through my questions for the most vital. “Why do you do it?” I said. “I still don’t understand how you can work so hard to resist what you… are. Please don’t misunderstand, of course I’m glad that you do. I just don’t see why you would bother in the first place.”

He hesitated before answering. “That’s a good question, and you are not the first one to ask it. The others – the majority of our kind who are quite content with our lot – they, too, wonder at how we live. But you see, just because we’ve been… dealt a certain hand… it doesn’t mean that we can’t choose to rise above – to conquer the boundaries of a destiny that none of us wanted. To try to retain whatever essential humanity we can.”

—-

This is a very sweet scene during Edward’s first morning at Bella’s room, and she asked him about her sleep-talking.

I groaned. “What did you hear?”

His gold eyes grew very soft. “You said you loved me.”

“You knew that already,” I reminded him, ducking my head.

“It was nice to hear, just the same.”

I hid my face against his shoulder.

“I love you,” I whispered.

“You are my life now,” he answered simply.

—-

Here’s a funny part.

“Breakfast time,” he said eventually, casually – to prove, I’m sure, that he remembered all my human frailties.

So I clutched my throat with both hands and stared at him with wide eyes. Shock crossed his face.

“Kidding!” I snickered. “And you said I couldn’t act!”

He frowned in disgust. “That wasn’t funny.”

“It was very funny, and you know it.” But I examined his gold eyes carefully, to make sure that I was forgiven. Apparently, I was.

“Shall I rephrase?” he asked. “Breakfast time for the human.”

—-

I love how this part was included in the movie, even though it wasn’t verbatim.

“And you’re worried, not because you’re headed to meet a houseful of vampires, but because you think those vampires won’t approve of you, correct?”

“That’s right,” I answered immediately, hiding my surprise at his casual use of the word.

He shook his head. “You’re incredible.”

—-

I would have loved to see this in the movie, but at least the line “You really shouldn’t have said that” was included.

“I hate to burst your bubble, but you’re really not as scary as you think you are. I don’t find you scary at all, actually,” I lied casually.

He stopped, raising his eyebrows in blatant disbelief. Then he flashed a wide, wicked smile.

“You really shouldn’t have said that,” he chuckled.

He growled, a low sound in the back of his throat; his lips curled back over his perfect teeth. His body shifted suddenly, half-crouched, tensed like a lion about to pounce.

I backed away from him, glaring.

“You wouldn’t.”

I didn’t see him leap at me – it was much too fast. I only found myself suddenly airborne, and then we crashed onto the sofa, knocking it into the wall. All the while, his arms formed an iron cage of protection around me – I was barely jostled. But I still was gasping as I tried to right myself.

He wasn’t having that. He curled me into a ball against his chest, holding me more securely than iron chains. I glared at him in alarm, but he seemed well in control, his jaw relaxed as he grinned, his eyes bright only with humor.

“You were saying?” he growled playfully.

“That you are a very, very terrifying monster,” I said, my sarcasm marred a bit by my breathless voice.

“Much better,” he approved.

—-

I really like both Alice and Jasper, especially how they soothed Bella in this scene.

Jasper was suddenly beside Alice, closer to me than usual.

“Bella,” he said in a suspiciously soothing voice. “You have nothing to worry about. You are completely safe here.”

“I know that.”

“Then why are you frightened?” he asked, confused. He might feel the tenor of my emotions, but he couldn’t read the reasons behind them.

“You heard what Laurent said.” My voice was just a whisper, but I was sure they could hear me. “He said James was lethal. What if something goes wrong, and they get separated? If something happens to any of them, Carlisle, Emmett… Edward…” I gulped. “If that wild female hurts Esme…” My voice had grown higher, a note of hysteria beginning to rise in it. “How could I live with myself when it’s my fault? None of you should be risking yourselves for me -“

“Bella, Bella, stop,” he interrupted me, his words pouring out so quickly they were hard to understand. “You’re worrying about all the wrong things, Bella. Trust me on this – none of us are in jeopardy. You are under too much strain as it is; don’t add to it with wholly unnecessary worries. Listen to me!” he ordered, for I had looked away. “Our family is strong. Our only fear is losing you.”

“But why should you -“

Alice interrupted this time, touching my cheek with her cold fingers. “It’s been almost a century that Edward’s been alone. Now he’s found you. You can’t see the changes that we see, we who have been with him for so long. Do you think any of us want to look into his eyes for the next hundred years if he loses you?”

—-

Here’s an interesting conversation between Edward and Bella at the hospital.

“How did you do it?” I asked quietly. He knew what I meant at once.

“I’m not sure.” He looked away from my wondering eyes, lifting my gauze-wrapped hand from the bed and holding it gently in his, careful not to disrupt the wire connecting me to one of the monitors.

I waited patiently for the rest.

He sighed without returning my gaze. “It was impossible… to stop,” he whispered. “Impossible. But I did.” He looked up finally, with half a smile. “I must love you.”

“Don’t I taste as good as I smell?” I smiled in response. That hurt my face.

“Even better – better than I’d imagined.”

—-

Here’s another light-hearted banter between Edward and Bella, which I sort of missed in the movie. Sometimes Edward and Bella were too intense.

I tried to reach his face with my free hand, but something stopped me. I glanced down to see the IV pulling at my hand.

“Ugh.” I winced.

“What is it?” he asked anxiously – distracted, but not enough. The bleakness did not entirely leave his eyes.

“Needles,” I explained, looking away from the one in my hand. I concentrated on a warped ceiling tile and tried to breathe deeply despitet the ache in my ribs.

“Afraid of a needle,” he muttered to himself under his breath, shaking his head. “Oh, a sadistic vampire, intent on torturing her to death, sure, no problem, she runs off to meet him. An IV, on the other hand…”

—-

This part seems to be a foreshadowing of some sorts to the events that would happen in New Moon.

“Why did you say that?” I whispered, trying to keep my voice from shaking. “Are you tired of having to save me all the time? Do you want me to go away?”

“No, I don’t want to be without you, Bella, of course not. Be rational. And I have no problem with saving you, either – if it weren’t for the fact that I was the one putting you in danger… that I’m the reason that you’re here.”

“Yes, you are the reason.” I frowned. “The reason I’m here – alive.”

“Barely.” His voice was just a whisper. “Covered in gauze and plaster and hardly able to move.”

“I wasn’t referring to my most recent near-death experience,” I said, growing irritated. “I was thinking of the others – you can take your pick. If it weren’t for you, I would be rotting away in the Forks cemetery.”

He winced at my words, but the haunted look didn’t leave his eyes.

“That’s not the worst part, though,” he continued to whisper. He acted as if I hadn’t spoken. “Not seeing you there on the floor… crumpled and broken.” His voice was choked. “Not thinking I was too late. Not even hearing you scream in pain – all those unbearable memories that I’ll carry with me for the rest of eternity. No, the very worst was feeling… knowing that I couldn’t stop. Believing that I was going to kill you myself.”

“But you didn’t.”

“I could have. So easily.”

—-

This part seems a bit like a forehsadowing of Alice’s future role as Bella’s best girlfriend and head vampire of all things related to cosmetics and fashion.

“I’m not coming over anymore if Alice is going to treat me like Guinea Pig Barbie when I do,” I griped. I’d spent the better part of the day in Alice’s staggeringly vast bathroom, a helpless victim as she played hairdresser and cosmetician. Whenever I fidgeted or complained, she reminded me that she didn’t have any memories of being human, and asked me not to ruin her vicarious fun.

—-

I thought this was really funny… and sweet (for Bella that is, not for Tyler).

Something Charlie was saying made Edward’s eyes widen in disbelief, and then a grin spread across his face.

“You’re kidding!” He laughed.

“What is it?” I demanded.

He ignored me. “Why don’t you let me talk to him?” Edward suggested with evident pleasure. He waited for a few seconds.

“Hello, Tyler, this is Edward Cullen.” His voice was very friendly, on the surface. I knew it well enough to catch the soft edge of menace. What was Tyler doing at my house? The awful truth began to dawn on me. I looked again at the inappropriate dress Alice had forced me into.

“I’m sorry if there’s been some kind of miscommunication, but Bella is unavailable tonight.” Edward’s tone changed, and the threat in his voice was suddenly much more evident as he continued. “To be perfectly honest, she’ll be unavailable every night, as far as anyone besides myself is concerned. No offense. And I’m sorry about your evening.” He didn’t sound sorry at all. And then he snapped the phone shut, a huge smirk on his face.

—-

I don’t think the other Cullens were shown at the prom in the movie. I would have loved to see how their outfits as described here would look.

In Phoenix, they held proms in hotel ballrooms. This dance was in the gym, of course. It was probably the only room in town big enough for a dance. When we got inside, I giggled. There were actual balloon arches and twisted garlands of pastel crepe paper festooning the walls.

“This looks like a horror movie waiting to happen,” I snickered.

“Well,” he muttered as we slowly approached the ticket table – he was carrying most of my weight, but I still had to shuffle and wobble my feet forward – “there are more than enough vampires present.”

I looked at the dance floor; a wide gap had formed in the center of the floor, where two couples whirled gracefully. The other dancers pressed to the sides of the room to give them space – no one wanted to stand in contrast with such radiance. Emmett and Jasper were intimidating and flawless in classic tuxedos. Alice was striking in a black satin dress with geometric cutouts that bared large triangles of her snowy white skin. And Rosalie was… well, Rosalie. She was beyond belief. Her vivid scarlet dress was backless, tight to her calves where it flared into a wide ruffled train, with a neckline that plunged to her waist. I pitied every girl in the room, myself included.

“Do you want me to bolt the doors so you can massacre the unsuspecting townsfolk?” I whispered conspiratorially.

“And where do you fit into that scheme?” He glared.

“Oh, I’m with the vampires, of course.”

—-

I thought Jacob was pretty funny here. I’ll never be a Jacob fan, but sometimes I understand his appeal. Sometimes.

“Hey, I’m sorry you had to come do this, Jacob,” I apologized. “At any rate, you get your parts, right?”

“Yeah,” he muttered. He was still looking awkward… upset.

“There’s more?” I asked in disbelief.

“Forget it,” he mumbled, “I’ll get a job and save the money myself.”

I glared at him until he met my gaze. “Just spit it out, Jacob.”

“It’s so bad.”

“I don’t care. Tell me,” I insisted.

“Okay… but, geez, this sounds bad.” He shook his head. “He said to tell you, no, to warn you, that – and this is his plural, not mine” – he lifted one hand from my waist and made little quotations marks in the air – ‘”We’ll be watching.'” He watched warily for my reaction.

It sounded like something from a mafia movie. I laughed out loud.

—-

I’m including this again because the word “twilight” was mentioned.

“Twilight, again,” he murmured. “Another ending. No matter how perfect the day is, it always has to end.”

“Some things don’t have to end,” I muttered through my teeth, instantly tense.

He ignored me, staring up at the moon.

—-

Well, the word “twilight” was mentioned again, and part of this was included in the movie.

He sighed deeply. “I know. And you’re really that willing?”

The pain was back in his eyes. I bit my lip and nodded.

“So ready for this to be the end,” he murmured, almost to himself, “for this to be the twilight of your life, though your life has barely started. You’re ready to give up everything.”

“It’s not the end, it’s the beginning,” I disagreed under my breath.

“I’m not worth it,” he said sadly.

“Do you remember when you told me that I didn’t see myself very clearly?” I asked, raising my eyebrows. “You obviously have the same blindness.”

“I know what I am.”

I sighed.

But his mercurial mood shifted on me. He pursed his lips, and his eyes were probing. He examined my face for a long moment.

“You’re ready now, then?” he asked.

“Um.” I gulped. “Yes?”

He smiled, and inclined his head slowly until his cold lips brushed against the skin just under the corner of my jaw.

“Right now?” he whispered, his breath blowing cool on my neck. I shivered involuntarily.

“Yes,” I whispered, so my voice wouldn’t have a chance to break. If he thought I was bluffing, he was going to be disappointed. I’d already made this decision, and I was sure. It didn’t matter that my body was rigid as a plank, my hands balled into fists, my breathing erratic…

He chuckled darkly, and leaned away. His face did look disappointed.

“You can’t really believe that I would give in so easily,” he said with a sour edge to his mocking tone.

“A girl can dream.”

His eyebrows rose. “Is that what you dream about? Being a monster?”

“Not exactly,” I said, frowning at his word choice. Monster, indeed. “Mostly I dream about being with you forever.”

His expression changed, softened and saddened by the subtle ache in my voice.

“Bella.” His fingers lightly traced the shape of my lips. “I will stay with you – isn’t that enough?”

I smiled under his fingertips. “Enough for now.”